why iphones gotta take two million years to turn back on after they die like you plug em in and you’re all ready to start texting again but they’re like “nope. i gotta take some time for myself. figure out who i am. you hurt me too much the last time. let me think.”
its weird how google became a synonym for search
*looks lovingly into your eyes* i’ve been googling for someone like you my entire life
HEY SCIENCE FRIENDS <3
Life hack: if someone makes a racist/sexist joke, say, with total seriousness, “I don’t get it, can you explain it”
Then watch them crash and burn
I did this once and I thought it said two CUPS of vanilla extract and my whole house smelled like the pillsburry dough boys butt hole for a month.
How the fuck did you fit two cups of vanilla extract into one cup
it was like a new knowledge of reality
I can’t NOT reblog a wheel of pringles.
ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL
I need my glasses to find my glasses do you see my problem
You can’t even see your problem
oh my GOD that tag
I don’t think Magnussen is Mary’s lover and that the baby isn’t John’s (come on people, how tacky wouldn’t that be).
Here’s what I think:
1. Mary is an orphan
2. CAM = Charles Augustus Magnussen
3. “Wish your family could have seen this.”
So most likely Magnussen did something to Mary’s family…
Or Mary did something to Mary’s family and now Magnussen is using that to blackmail her.
Either way, we’re fucked.
NO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THIS IS DISGUSTING THIS IS TERRIBLE SHE IS WASTING PERFECTLY GOOD FUCKING DORITOS SHES WASTING THESE DELICIOUS GODSENT CREATIONS SHES PROBABLY NOT EVEN GONNA EAT THEM SHES BATHING IN THEM I SAY WE FEAST ON HER NACHO FLAVORED FLESH FOR BETRAYING THE HOLY DORITO
are you kidding i’m more concerned about how she’s going to get the goddamn dorito dust out of all her nooks and crannies like come on you can’t touch one without getting it on you how the hell is she going to get that out of her skiddlyboop
the sound of high heels on the pavement as you walk is the ultimate power trip, like you could be buying milk or on your way to assassinate someone
can’t wait to not get kissed again this new years